Until The End
by Nadine Dawson
Summary: Rose's heart was his, but their love was cut short by fate gone wrong, She lives her life fufilling his promise and taking the suprises in life as they come. please R/R
1. Letting Go

**Until The End of Time**

_"Death can not stop true love, it can only delay it for a little while."_

…

_"You may still remember your First Love, but you will never forget your True Love - the Love of your lifetime..."_

**Chapter one: Letting Go**

**April fifteenth 1912...**

Promising him to never let go Rose did exactly that, on a physical level she let go of Jack's hand and promised him her heart. Her everything. Taking a moment to lay her head down and cry she heard the calls of her rescuers and knowing now she had to live Rose slid off the plank of wood and swam, with every ounce of her being, over to an officer, she pried the whistle from his dead lips and blew into it as hard as she could.

xxx

Dreams and promises had been made in the last three days and now all of that lay at the bottom of the North Atlantic. Rose was too numb to cry as she lay in a lifeboat staring up at the sky; the sun was now coming up introducing a new day. Soft water lapped against the sides of the lifeboat and she listened as the officer lit a flare and waved it in the air. Soon enough she knew she would be on another ship and she wondered if this one would sink into the ocean just like the last had. She wondered if Jack would be watching over her as she sailed to America and walked off the ship a free woman.

He should be watching it was of course all his doing. He was like all the princes she had ever read about in Fairy tales. The Ones who picked up the woman and rode away with her on a white horse. Well even if she did not get to ride off with Jack, he saved her and took her away from everything she had once been. Everything she wouldn't ever be again.

xxx

As Rose sat upon the deck of Carpathia, she was wrapped in a flannel blanket that scratched her skin. Cal had just recently snooped around trying to find her. To his dismay he failed and Rose was left to collect her thoughts. Tears dared to fall from her eyes as the day broke and the sun warmed her face. Jack she thought, he would love the way everything looked this morning. She imagined herself waking up in his arms. The way his smell lingered on her skin. And as she turned over to see his eyes opening upon the day, tears fell. Gently working their way to be gentle sobs Rose covered her face with her hands and breathed deeply. She would not let herself break down in front of these widows, and fatherless children.

xxx

While Carpathia sailed into port, Rose stood on the deck and stared up at the statue of Liberty with a look of indifference on her face. An officer walked up to her, clipboard in hand. "May I take your name please love?" Rose looked at the man for a moment and began to speak, turning her head back towards the statue. "Dawson, Rose Dawson."

The man nodded and walked away. Satisfied with her answer, her lie. Now she would begin again as Rose Dawson and no one would have to know.

Rose shoved her hands into the pockets of the Jacket Cal had lain upon her shoulders. Finding The heart of ocean in her hand, she thought, well Cal hadn't been a waste completely. She would now have her fondest memory of Jack just a touch away. She wouldn't sell it, no Cal would certainly find her if she sold it. No, she would keep it forever, and if she ever had the chance, she would return it to Jack. To his memory**.**

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_A/N: This is a story that I had posted at one time I've taken the chapters down and I'm in the process of editing them. I promise to the readers that begin to read this story that I will not, will not give up on it. if I do I will disappear off of here and never come back, I need to be a better author. Hope you enjoyed this chapter please review, thank you. New chapter should be up in about a week, sorry for the delay school is being an annoyance. -Nadine_


	2. Where to?

**Chapter Two: Where to? **

The streets were crowded with reporters and other Nosey people who wanted to hear the gossip about the 'unsinkable' ocean liner. Rose knew the difference and stayed away from the massive group taking a detour through a back street. Looking around she had no idea what part of New York she was in. She had only been there in the past to shop for dresses and other useless trinkets. Now it was a matter of life or death if she didn't find a place to stay, she was certain that she wasn't in the first class district and the shadows that lurked in the alley frightened her. Rose ran until she found a well lit main street, looking around she found that the only place she could go was a Catholic church.

XXX

The rain had stopped sometime in the night Rose guessed, as she stepped out onto the sidewalk, feeling somewhat out of place in her dress and Cal's jacket but it would have to do for now she concluded. She had no money, no experience and no place to live but she was determined to keep going she couldn't just give up on her dreams not now. Not after all that had happened she wouldn't let Jack's death be in haste.

Rose decided as she walked into the train station, that Cal's money should take her to California. She wanted to be where Jack had been at one time. She wanted to feel what he had felt when looking over the pier. So at three forty five that afternoon Rose boarded a train headed for Santa Monica California.

XXX

Rose's grief took a strong hold on her being throughout the five day trip. She didn't eat, and she hardly slept. Hours were spent aimlessly staring out the window at the passing day, at night the blackness filling her view and in early morning the pinks and yellows of the sunrise. Nothing made the pain go away, she doubted that anything ever would.

Her dress was tattered, she had bathed but always put the dress back on for fear that if she took the dress off she was removing that last thing that she and Jack shared.

XXX

When the train finally reached Santa Monica and Rose got her first whiff of the sea air, she suddenly didn't feel that sadness that had consumed her on the train. She felt like Jack was right there holding her hand and everything would be all right, if only for the moment.

She walked, until she made it to the beach, the ocean stretched out in front of her. Tears fell from her eyes now, her chest heaved with sobs She sank down into the sand, oh how she must look to passerby, a crazy lady in a tattered dressing crying out towards the horizon. Someone call the asylum! Rose sat in the sand until her eyes dried up enough and her head stopped its incessant aching, she stood up and brushed the sand off of her dress, and stopped only once to buy a change of clothing before finding a place to live and most important of all a place to work.

XXX

By the next day Rose had found a job working as a seamstress for a theater company. It wasn't worth much but enough to support the apartment she had found. While the apartment was filled mostly with women, who worked at the theater company there were a few men. Some who had eyed Rose, but she had ignored them, and their dog-like behavior.

XXX

She paced the floor, the shirt she wore was one that reminded her of Jack so she had bought it to wear as a night shirt. Night was especially hard for her it was that quiet period between midnight and six a.m. that really got to her, the stillness of the world would bring memories rushing back to her, and she kept telling herself that they were only week old memories, things take time. Tragedies take time to get erased from the forefront of thoughts. Still, she wished that sleep came easier. Whenever she was depressed or sick of being around Cal or her mother sleep had been her solace, now when she most needed it and wanted it, it wouldn't come. She had always found her wishes fulfilled in her dreams, but in the last week the dreams had all been nightmares. So this night, her second night in paradise, was a sleepless one, a lonely one.

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_A/N: I hope ya'll liked that chapter, I'm really trying to work hard on this story but school is getting to me hence the delay in chapters. I was trying to keep true to the way Rose would feel after losing Jack. Have a nice day, thanks for reading, please R/R - Nadine_


	3. A New Reason To Live

**Chapter three: A new reason to live**

Rose walked in and sat her handbag down on the small table by the door. She turned around and locked her door, as to make sure un-wanted visitors could not walk in. It had been two weeks since she had moved in, Jack weighed heavily on her mind, and sometimes when things were quiet, her heart would ache. There were nights when moonlight spilled across her floor and she laid there staring out of the window, and it was in those moments that she felt there was no reason to go on, what did she have to live for? Besides money and food and basic necessities, there was nothing to live for. Nevertheless, when the sun came up and the day introduced itself she saw the promises it had to offer, and that she had to keep living.

She sat down in the rocking chair she had in her living room. Rose looked at the old sofa she had along with the table and worn out rug, it wasn't much but it was something, a place she could call home. Rose stood up suddenly a wave of nausea rushing over her, not for the first time this day. Her monthly curse, as she called it was already two days late, and now this nausea. She wondered if she was in the family way or just stressed out and grieving. Her heart lightened at the thought of a baby that was Jack's, preferably with his blonde hair and blue eyes, why not? Why would a baby of his be so bad, she could provide for him or her and it would be like having Jack forever, not only in her heart but in physical presence. She sat back down again, and smiled. She knew that although it would be hard starting a career in the film industry with a new baby who would undoubtedly demand much of her attention, but she knew the joy a baby could bring even to a single woman.

XXX

Rose smiled up to the sky as she walked along the pier in Santa Monica, her suspicions had been correct and she was carrying Jack's child. Even though being a single mother was frowned upon her heart was filled with content of having something Jack had given her. She stopped for a moment and leaned over the railing, and breathed deeply the salt water was strong in the air, a smell she was coming to love. She thought about the baby and how it would have all the chances in the world to grow up without restrictions and enjoy a life of peace and happiness. Rose wanted her child to grow up a gentle and kind person and she knew if the baby had an once of Jack within it, it would be exactly that.

XXX

"Oh Rose I'm so happy for you!" Kate said as Rose told her the news of her pregnancy, to Kate's knowledge it was a baby from Rose's late husband. Rose had been telling people she lost her husband in a horrible accident, hence the reason she moved from New York to California. So far the lie had worked. Kate was in the apartment right below Rose's they had quickly become good friends after auditioning for the same moving picture. Rose had won the part, and no matter how small the part was, it would add money to the small amount she still had.

"So, how do you think your late husband would feel about the baby?" Kate asked trying not to seem nosey.

Rose looked up from her coffee cup and smiled. "I'm sure he would be very happy."

"Oh this is great news, I mean I understand how hard it is to raise a baby alone and how prejudiced people can be towards single mothers but new life is just great don't you agree?"

"I agree, Kate, I really do." Rose said standing up to clean up from the coffee they had been drinking. "I just hope people aren't prejudiced against me while I'm in my condition. I don't want to lose my job."

"I don't think that will happen you're a good worker Rose and as long as the baby doesn't get in the way of your work people won't be against you."

"I hope not."

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_A/N: Thanks for reading this chapter, I hope you liked it I know it is quite short but I think it fits. I don't know please review chapter four will be up when I get the chance. Thanks again please review -Nadine_


	4. A Day Worth of Change

****

Chapter four: A day worth of change

At five pm every single day, Rose arrived home. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, that and the usual nausea. She walked in her house and quickly realized it had been broken in to. Why anyone would want to take five hundred of the seven hundred dollars she had left, she wasn't sure. She had no enemies in California. Rose sat down, her two hundred dollars and the heart of the ocean in her hands. It was all the money she had in the world.

XXX

Rose was now five months along and her pregnancy had become apparent underneath her clothing. Today she had been laid off of her job, and as distraught with grief as she was She couldn't help but smile when she felt the first kicks of her baby like butterflies she thought, tiny flutters but enough to prove that the baby she was carrying was real.

She hoped that something lucrative would crop up; things were slim these days having lost Cal's money. She knew she had more than most but many had more than she did. Rose couldn't just wait until the job as seamstress came back to her she needed to make money, and now, the role she had auditioned for had fallen through, given to Kate, because of Rose's 'condition' . Things had gone down hill in the last month, but she kept going, for the life she had inside.

XXX

Rose kept walking down the sidewalk staring towards the ground, as not to notice the looks from people she had been getting lately, in her absent mindedness she had ran right into a man and his little girl.

"I'm so sorry!" Rose said as the man righted himself and got up from the ground, not letting go of his little girl's hand. Rose studied the little girl she seemed to be about two or three her brown eyes looked red and puffy from crying.

"Are you ok mam? I didn't mean to run into you, I really didn't."

"Oh its fine I should have been looking where I was going, it just seems, with today's events I'm a little more absent minded than usual."

"It happens to all of us. I guess I should introduce myself I'm John Calvert."

"Hello, Mr.Calvert pleased to meet you, I'm Rose Dawson, is this your little girl?"

"Oh, this would be my daughter Anne. We're trying to find a home but have no place to stay would you know of anywhere cheap we could live? You can call me John by the way."

"Ah, yes the apartment next to mine is vacant at this moment. Our building has mostly women in it but more and more men have been moving in lately."

"Would you mind showing me, Miss. Dawson if it wouldn't be any trouble?"

"Call me Rose, and no it wouldn't be any trouble."

Rose led them to the apartment building. The little girl had wanted up in her arms and so she had carried her. Rose was unsure about small children, but the little girl had taken to her right away.

"John, where is her mother?" Rose asked quietly discovering the little girl had fallen asleep against her shoulder. "Not to be, harsh."

"No, it's fine She died during the childbirth of our second child, unfortunately the baby died too. We didn't have enough money for a doctor and the midwife couldn't turn the baby in time."

"I'm so sorry." Rose said suddenly realizing that could be her if she didn't watch out. "While you talk to the landlord about an apartment Anne can sleep up in my apartment, so she doesn't distract you while you're talking out the lease."

"Are you sure about that? She can be a hand full at times."

"I'm sure." Rose smiled and introduced John to Mr. Wilkinson and his wife who owned the building. While they talked Rose walked up the stairs and into her apartment building. She laid the small girl down in her bed and covered her with the blanket. Rose smiled; she was a little thing with dark brown hair that sprung from her head in curls. Rose walked out of the bedroom and pulled the door shut only to a crack incase she needed anything.

XXX

Soon enough Anne was crying. Rose walked in and the girl wailed more not recognizing her surroundings or remembering Rose from earlier.

Rose laid a hand on Anne's back. "Anne sshh it's ok Aunt Rose is here, don't be afraid." Rose wondered to herself if she should actually introduce herself as Aunt Rose, who knew if John would even be staying in the apartment building.

"I'm scccarred." The little girl wailed.

"I know but it'll be ok how about a snack?"

"Okay." Anne said, standing up in the bed. Rose picked the young girl up and took her to the kitchen, where she prepared her a bread and cheese sandwich. After Anne had finished her sandwich, Rose took her into the bathroom and bathed her. She also washed her dress for her along with her diaper. Rose figured she could just wrap her up in a towel and figure out the rest later. She felt like she might be doing too much but then she realized that the little girl deserved a gentle touch, she was so awfully cute.

--

"Rose, you really didn't have to do all this." John said as Rose spooned potatoes and meat onto his plate.

"It's no problem, I haven't really had anyone to talk to in awhile since my friend Kate got her acting job and besides you seem like a good person."

"Yes, but your husband shouldn't he be home soon what will he think of my being here?" John asked his green eyes shining with apprehension.

"I don't…My husband died." Rose said realizing she hadn't thought of Jack since she had run into John.

"I'm sorry, I just, noticed your condition."

"He only died in April so…" Rose said, seeing by John's nodding that he understood.

"I have to get a job and I don't know what I'm going to do with Anne, she's only two and just starting to get into everything."

"I just lost my job and in my current state I don't know how I'm going to get a job."

"You could watch Anne during the day, I would pay you."

"I don't know how I would make money from watching one child; you wouldn't be able to pay me much."

"You could give up your apartment and move into mine, it has two bedrooms that way, you won't have to pay the rent, and you won't have utilities or any of those things. I could pay for all the food everything and in turn, all you would have to do is watch Anne. I will even give you a dollar a day. That way at the end of the month you'll have thirty or sometimes thirty one dollars of pay"

"What would the people think of me living with you un-wed and in the family way?"

"Well most people in the building that live here know you already and you could say that I'm your cousin or brother and we both recently lost our spouses and needed to combine our money to survive. Besides ignore what people think, they don't matter anyway."

"I'll have to think about it."

"What is there to think about? It would definitely be easier to live by pooling money instead of apart."

"It's just hard to think about, I've been so free these last five months." Rose stopped for a moment, she had known the man for a day, and he was asking her to live with him. It would be easier on her funds, and easier to not be so alone, still she didn't know what to do.

"Please Rose, please?" John pleaded with her.

"Okay, I'll do it, just because I could see us being friends, nothing more though just friends." John's pleading had made up her mind it could be a good match, they could at least be friends, not just boss and nanny.

"Yes, Just friends I promise." John held out his hand for Rose to shake and she took it smiling. Oh how things had changed from that morning.

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_A/N: this is definently the last chapter until next week, I'm sorry but as I said school is difficult. Anyways, I hope you all liked this chapter please review. Thanks- Nadine _


	5. One Small Wonder

**Chapter Five: One small wonder **

Rose walked out of the kitchen, a small brown haired brown-eyed girl following her. "Auntie Rose baby baby baby?" Anne repeated the word, as she always did when she wanted to feel the baby kick.

"No sweetie, the baby isn't kicking now." Rose said and rubbed the little girl's head. "Why don't you go play for awhile while I scrub the floors? Tonight Santa is coming down the chimney and everything has to look nice for him."

"Santa!" The little girl screamed loudly. "Yes, but remember you have to be good for him to come." Rose scolded

"I be good!" Anne answered exuberantly.

Rose walked into the kitchen and retrieved the silver bucket she used for mop water. She filled it with the hot water that was steaming on the stove. Her stomach had now swelled to the spot where she was guessing it should be for eight months. Since September her life had changed drastically, she had learned to cook for two other people and clean up after them. John would arrive home from work, Rose would make dinner, and they would talk about the events of the day. It was as if she had a family including a husband and child, except she didn't share a room with John and at night and Anne slept beside her in the guest room.

Rose still spent her nights awake, staring at the cradle that proudly awaited its residence. She missed Jack, while she no longer contemplated suicide, she did miss him. Just knowing that a being, another human that would almost for sure look and act like Jack, was inside of her waiting to show its face to the world was enough to make her heart ache for him, but also enough to make her keep going. So as she began to scrub the floor thoughts of Jack filled her heart and her mind.

xxx

"Merry Christmas!" John yelled down the hallway and Rose couldn't help but find amusement from his childlike behavior.

Anne jumped up and down at John's legs "Daddy! Santa!"

"I know honey but we have to eat breakfast before we can open presents."

Rose was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. She planned to begin cooking the Christmas dinner for the three of them while John and Anne opened presents, which made her feel a sadness she couldn't get rid of and really couldn't explain. However, she knew that by this time next year she would have a baby of her own to celebrate with. That _was her plan._

John sat down and helped Anne up into her chair. "Rose won't you join us for opening presents?"

"Are you sure? The present for Anne is under the tree I'm sure I could just let you two celebrate."

"No, really I want you to join us. Rose it is the holidays remember? Fun and games? You have not smiled a real smile in a long time. Rose please for your baby's health be happy its father might be gone but your baby is not and neither are you. It's Christmas have some fun."

"Okay, I'll have fun." Rose said slightly angry at John's demand, tears wanted to make their way down her cheeks but she didn't let them. After her anger had subsided, she concluded that John was right she should not let life pass her by just because she was lonely, she should have fun and she should smile more often. Jack would not want her to be so sad, this life was hers to live hers to enjoy. He had given her that, he had made her promise a promise that some days she had forgotten about.

xxx

"What do you say Anne?" John asked as his daughter admired the rolling wood duck with the string that Rose had bought her.

"Tank you Auntie Rose."

"You're welcome Anne."

"And Rose, something for you." John said handing Rose the envelope. Rose carefully opened it and read the card inside "For you on Christmas." five dollars lay inside along with a note in John's handwriting "I knew it isn't much but it'll help Love, John and Anne."

"Oh John, you really didn't have to do that. I have nothing to give to you. I'm so embarrassed." Tears fell from Rose's eyes she had been so emotional lately, all of which she bashfully accounted to her pregnancy.

"Rose don't cry, it's Christmas and we should all be happy, I don't care if you didn't get me anything. Save your money save it for your baby."

"Thank you." Rose smiled.

"See, that smile of yours, it could light up the dark! I don't know why you don't let it out more often."

Rose smiled more brightly now her cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.

xxx

January rolled around and Rose knew it would be any day until her baby was born. Her back hurt and her feet and hands were swelled. Her stomach officially lead her way anywhere that she went. She felt as big as a cow and the anxious waiting game she was now playing with her baby was something she could do without.

Rose sat in a rocking chair waiting for Anne to wake up from her nap. She had caught up on all her duties so that she could have the afternoon to sit down. She rocked back and forth, back and forth. Realizing she must have lulled the active baby to sleep with the gentle back and forth motion for its kicking had stopped. Lately the baby had been as active as ever kicking and doing back flips. Sometimes she would stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom and watch as her stomach moved. While it was exciting to notice the way her body was changing, she couldn't wait for it to be over.

xxx

Rose laid in bed that night, and was more than restless she tossed and turned trying to make as little noise as she could as to not wake Anne, she knew now though, her time had come as the pain ripped through her back and stomach. She tried to hold off from waking up John and Anne and inevitably getting the house all in a fluster, she could wait until morning her baby could wait. She was sure. Soon her fears of delivering took over. If she waited too long and the baby had to be flipped what if it died? What if she died too? She sent up anxious prayers toward the ceiling hoping that Jack and whatever divine power was in heaven would help her through.

Two hours of keeping herself quiet Rose knew she had to do something her water had broken and soon Anne was awake. Rose stood up as best she could and picked Anne up out of bed. Anne was crying and trying to squirm out of Rose's arms. Making the struggle to John's bedroom even more difficult.

"Anne don't be scared." She reassured the child, actually reassuring herself. "Just come with me we're going to get your daddy."

"John." Rose knocked on his door. "John!" Rose heard him stumble to the door as her hand clutched her stomach; her baby was not waiting anymore.

"Rose what is it?" John said rubbing his eyes into focus

"The baby is coming and I don't know what to do." Rose said tears running down her cheeks.

"I'll get Mrs. Wilkinson she'll know what to do." John said trying to calm his fears, he grabbed Anne from Rose and headed down the hallway.

"Okay."

"Just go lay down in your room" John said from the living room as he walked out of the apartment.

"I'll be here." Rose said as the door shut.

xxx

Six hours later Rose laid on her bed drenched with sweat, the sun was creeping its way through her window. She held onto the sheets and cried out; lonely with her broken heart she labored through her pains. Mrs. Wilkinson was a no go and so a mid wife had been called down from up stairs.

"Ok, Rose, you're about ready to push, on my count you're going to push ok?" The woman said, looking up at Rose from her position at the end of the bed.

Rose yelled as another contraction ripped through her. "Okaaayy."

Just as it had all started nine months ago in the cargo holds of a doomed ship, it ended, her baby with a wail was alive and kicking a small gift proving the love of two star-crossed lovers, so it hadn't been a dream after all. Rose laid her head back down on the pillow and breathed in a deep sigh of relief the baby was okay. Everything was okay.

"It's a boy!" The midwife announced holding him up to Rose. She cleaned him up and laid him on Rose's chest.

"What will you be naming your son?"

Rose thought for a moment, well, there was only one name she could think of that could fit the little wonder that laid in her grasp.

"Jack Alexander Dawson."

Rose looked down at the beautiful baby in her arms, his blue eyes shining out to the world. His blonde hair like the down feathers found in first class pillows, she never realized how she could love someone she had only met once with every ounce of her being. "Thank you, Jack…Thank you." She whispered and kissed the baby's little hand.

xxx

After Rose had been cleaned up, and the baby had been given an official bath and swaddled in soft blankets John brought Anne in to see Rose.

"Auntie Rose." Anne whispered while she tiptoed into the bedroom. "Is baby here?"

"Yes he is Anne." Rose said smiling at the little girl's innocence. She adjusted herself to sit up more.

John was standing at the doorway afraid to come in, afraid to come any closer, he could not help but think of his Elizabeth and how, she should have been looking like Rose right now all smiles with her new baby next to her cooing softly.

"How are you feeling?" John asked quietly

"Ah a little sore but happier than I've been in a long time." Rose sighed and looked at Jack, who was sleeping his thumb in his mouth. "I just didn't realize I could love someone so much, and know so little about them." Rose looked at Anne who was trying to see the baby. "John will you lift her up so she can see Jack, I'm afraid I can't or I would."

John walked over to Anne and picked her up, the little girl ooo'ed and awed at the baby. "Rose I'm staying home from work today to watch after you if you need anything just tell me." John said unsure of what to do with himself. His heart had fallen for Rose, but he could tell she needed her freedom and doubted he was in her plans for much longer.

"All right." Rose answered noticing John's discomfort

"Come on Anne; let's let aunt Rose get some sleep." John said and took his little girl out of the room closing the door softly

xxx

Later as Rose slept, John walked in her bedroom carrying a vase of flowers he had gotten for her. He decided to stay for a moment and he tiptoed over to the cradle where the pink skinned, blonde haired boy slept. Oh, he was a precious thing, John thought. He suddenly wondered what his father looked like, Rose never talked about him, but from her sadness, he could tell that she loved him more than anyone she had ever met in her life.

He looked over at Rose now, her red hair shined in the dim light of the room, and again as before, John felt his heart slipping away with him into Rose and into the heart of her new son, who would grow up without a father. Into his daughter who would grow up without a mother. John had already decided he would never love another woman after Rose a foolish decision but one that his heart had made. As the baby opened his little eyes and looked up at him, he knew that until Rose left or stayed forever nothing would ever change.

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_A/N: I'm almost out of school I'm sorry about the serious delay in chapters with this one / It's been a rough week at school and all I hope you liked this chapter idk if I'm too fond of it. Anyways thank you for reading and please review -Nadine_


	6. One year

**Chapter six: One year…**

_April fourteenth 1913_

Rose woke up on April Fourteenth to the sound of Jack's very powerful lungs. The four month old baby was red in the face by the time Rose got over to him. "Oh Jack, you needn't cry so hard it makes your face look so funny." Rose cooed at her little boy. He was growing so quickly already at four months old he recognized Rose, John and Anne. He smiled for everyone and giggled at everything else. Rose was so proud of the baby she had known for the last four months. She put her all into him, trying to raise this little carbon copy of Jack the best she could. His blonde hair and blue eyes reminded her so much of his father. This product, of their gentle love making had forever changed her world. "Let's get you changed buddy." Rose said and carried him over to the changing table.

xxx

The sun shined brightly this day, spring was taking hold over Santa Monica and summer would definitely be steamy. Rose held onto Jack tightly as he squirmed to look over the edge of the pier to see into the expanse of the ocean but Rose wouldn't let him, nope, the ocean was not taking another person from her.

"Oh Jack, I love you and It's been a year today well, tonight officially since I've seen you but look what I've got this baby boy of ours. I named him after you I thought that way I would always have you very near and dear to my heart, physically and mentally." Rose said talking out to the horizon.

Rose stared out into the ocean watching children play near the shore and boats sailing in the distance. Her heart felt warm, no longer did she feel the melancholy that had consumed her before Jack was born and before John and Anne gave her a reason to get up in the morning, her life was perfect now. She smiled and walked away going home to Anne, and to John.

xxx

Some days later, John walked out of his bedroom, he heard Jack starting to whimper, whimpers that would undoubtedly turn into full out wails, so he went in and picked him up. He rocked him back and forth swaying to a song that played in his head. When Jack had settled he walked into the living room where Rose was braiding Anne's hair.

"I found someone who wanted you." John said with a smile.

"I'm sorry, I was hoping he'd sleep until I finished getting Anne ready, I guess I was wrong." Rose said standing up to retrieve her baby.

"I hate to ask this now but is breakfast ready? I'm supposed to be at work early today." John said running his fingers through his brown curly hair.

"It is, I made muffins and fresh orange juice along with some fruit. I figured it would be a change of pace."

"Sounds good, I'm hungry."

John seemed like he was stirring around with something all through breakfast. Something he couldn't say, something he had to work up the courage to do. When he got home that night, like always Anne ran up to him screaming "Daddddy!" John just left the little girl waiting with open arms, then went into the kitchen and told Rose "We need to talk."

xxx

Rose would forever remember this day, just like she remembered the day Jack died, the day little Jack was born and now this, the day John told her he was leaving.

"Rose, I've been thinking that I need to make more money and when I received the letter from my father that said, he'd pay for my medical school, if I moved back to Cedar Rapids, well I took him up on the offer." John paused to dry his hands at the sink. "I'm twenty two and I figure if I go back and make some money I can provide for a family."

Rose's mouth hung open, her heart had become attached to John no matter how hard she tried not to love him, tried not to let him fill the void that Jack had left within her heart it was a useless battle. So she swallowed her tears and asked. "When are you leaving?"

"Next week. My father is sending tickets."

"Why did you leave Cedar Rapids in the first place?"

"Because after my wife died that house and town was too much for my aching heart to handle. I had heard beautiful things about Santa Monica so I came here and the plans I had made was barely my reality when I fell into your life. Rose you could go with us, I was thinking you could become my wife."

Rose, sighed and shook her heard. Turning towards the window and staring out at nothing in particular.

"I couldn't, I couldn't because I'm afraid I have dreams I have to fulfill out here." Rose said her words quivering with sadness.

"Rose please? I wouldn't stop you from doing the things you want to do. I understand that you need to live too. What about your son he'll grow up with no father?"

"Who's to say I won't find someone else? Who says you're the last man who will be in my life?"

"I say it, because I feel it in my heart even if we separate now we'll be together again someday, you'll see." John left then and went into his bedroom slamming the door. He sat down on his bed. How could one women he'd known for eight months have such an affect on him? He hardly mourned in her presence and Anne loved her, and he loved Jack. Nothing in the world should drive them apart and yet he was the one forcing a wedge between their hearts.

Rose sat down at the kitchen table she was speechless, John had really fallen in love with her no matter how platonic things had been, no hugs, no kisses, and definitely no relations she couldn't believe he had fallen in love with her that way, over the short time of eight months. Even if she had fallen in love with Jack in three days that was different, Jack was not only a made to be spouse but a savior; her soul mate. She didn't know whether to go into John's room and tell him that she did love him, that she did want to marry him. Or to let him leave and let the cards fall where they may.

xxx

John walked out to the car and as he looked back at Rose, he couldn't help but feel a sadness for her he couldn't describe. What was he doing? He asked himself. He walked back up to Rose, the sadness he was feeling over whelming him.

"Bye Bye Rose." He whispered "I'll write you every week. You remember what I said whenever, wherever I'm there for you." John walked away and got into the car; just like that he was out of her life and whether he'd be back again was anyone's guess.


	7. As Years Go By

**Chapter Seven: As years go by**

_Dearest Rose, April 29__th__ 1913_

_Anne and I send our best wishes we just made it to Cedar Rapids this morning and I thought I'd take the chance to write you this letter. I start school in two days I'm really excited. I've always been an exceptional student, and I always wanted to be a doctor my plan was to open a practice and have Elizabeth work as my secretary. Obviously that didn't happen….Anyways Anne seems like she enjoys being around her grandparents well it hasn't even been a day so give it a week. She told me the whole train ride out here that she missed "auntie Rosie and Jack" She'll get over it eventually as all kids do. I really miss you Rose. Please, please reconsider. _

_Forever, John _

_Dear John, May 3__rd__1913_

_Tell Anne I send my love, and so does Jack…whether he can say it or not. I hope everything is going well for the both of you, good luck in school._

_Your friend, Rose_

_Dearest Rose, May 10th 1913_

_Well things are going fine out here, they would be better if you were here though. I'm not going to give up on this. I need you I won't go down with a fight. I understand that things are difficult right now, but I know in due time I'll hold you in my arms and sway to music under the stars. I bet now that you've read that you're contacting the police saying that I'm stalking you. Well my dear you are mistaken I don't have the time to stalk you what with school and all. I'll never let go Rose, never ever. Hope to see you soon._

_Forever, John_

xxx

The next few years were prosperous for Rose she stared in five films moving her and her young son from the apartment to a nice house on the beach. Jack grew up to look more and more like his father, at only four years old , he was a maze of wonderment, while being small for his age his downy blonde hair and bright blue eyes made people stop and stare and his enthusiasm for everything made him even more popular with children and adults alike. He was Rose's joy he was what made her keep going through the day, that and the letters John would send each week. They had only met once throughout the four years and it was even harder to say goodbye the second time around. Yet even though he had begged her she wouldn't go with him. She couldn't.

xxx

Within the four years John and Rose had been apart, he had successfully opened a practice in Cedar Rapids and was quickly rising to the top of his profession. He had been trained in obstetrics, a useful thing to know considering many women were having healthier babies, but not many of them had had a midwife or doctor to call in the area. Anne, was now seven and was getting good marks at school. The only thing missing from this perfect life, his perfect mess was Rose, and four years of longing had made it even worse. It wasn't until World War One started that he knew, this was his chance to make things right.

_Dearest Rose, May 1__st__ 1917_

_As you very well know, our country is at war. I will be drafted soon I am sure, I would like to make it out to see you just one more time, hopefully not my last. Besides it's about time I saw my "nephew" and you saw your "niece." I'll be getting there on May tenth and hopefully by then you'll have received this letter. I'll be seeing you…._

_Forever, John_

xxx

Rose clutched Jack's small hand as they walked through the crowd of people waiting for the four fifteen train. John had telegrammed her the day before saying to meet him there and Rose had no idea why she was waiting to see him, maybe it was because she really did love him and after four years apart with only one meeting the prospect of seeing him again was exciting.

"Rose!" John yelled seeing her red hair flame through the crowd. She had just bent down the pick Jack up and stood back up resting him uneasily on her hip. "Rose!!" He yelled again, she stopped to look around and then she waved at him as he ran to her.

xxx

John sat in the passenger side of Rose's car. Fumbling around with something to say.

"So how have you been?" Rose was the first to break the silence.

"Fine, the practice is doing nicely, but I shut it down until I get home from the war, two days after I sent your letter I got my draft notice, it's for July, but still July will be here sooner than I would like."

"What will your patients do?"

"They'll probably go to the doctor in Dunham, it's only ten miles from Cedar Rapids."

"Ah." Rose said turning onto a less populated road. Her hair was up in a French twist and she was wearing a yellow and white dress. John couldn't help but look at her. Oh how he wanted to hold her to kiss her…to marry her.

"So anything new happened since your last letter?" John asked realizing their letters had kept both of them up to date on the events in their lives.

"Yes actually, I've decided I want to quit being an actress for awhile. I don't know what I'll do in the mean time but I'll find something. I've missed so much of Jack's life already I can't bare to miss another second. He's growing up so fast, just yesterday I was having him and now he's going to school in two years."

"I know I hardly recognized him."

"I didn't recognize Anne either….Well it looks like we're home." They had pulled up to a large white house with blue shutters it was on the beach, and had a wrap around porch.

"Your house is amazing, it really is Rose." John's heart sank he couldn't ask her to be his wife, not now not after all of this. She had worked on her own with a small child to get this house and there he was going to take it all away from her. How selfish could he be?

"Thanks, I've worked so hard to get this house, and now it's finally mine." Rose said, lifting Jack out of the back seat of the car.

xxx

"Well, these are your rooms." Rose whispered and pointed to two rooms, as they walked down the hallway "I'm just going to put Jack down for a nap."

John looked at the pictures that hung on the walls of the hallway. Pictures of Jack throughout the four years, pictures of Rose one especially caught his eye of her on a horse, by the pier in Santa Monica. But the best one of all was a picture of the three of them, from nineteen twelve, Rose was pregnant and was wearing a radiant smile, as was John and Anne. This was too much to bear, all the memories she had created these were her dreams, in pictures.

xxx

Late at night when things were quiet Rose still thought about Jack, thought about where he was, what he was doing. She believed life carried on, even in heaven. Sometimes when things got really lonely she would go into little Jack's room and let the light from the hallway spill gently over his face. At four years old he looked even more like his father than he had at four months old and she was sure at fourteen he would be a near spitting image. Afterwards she would usually go down stairs and get herself something to drink, milk or water, and then go back to bed where she was sure to fall asleep. This night she found herself not alone in the kitchen.

"Oh hello Rose, I couldn't sleep so I came down here." John said looking down at the white night-shirt and boxer pants that adorned his body.

"Guess that makes two of us." Rose said tightening her silk robe around her waist.

"Rose we need to talk about some things, I mean our letters these past four years can't just be nothing can they?" John asked, sitting down at the oak table.

"They're not nothing John, I meant every word I said in those letters."

"As did I."

"John, sometimes your letters were the only thing that kept me going, when I lost acting job after acting job. Only to land my first role, your enthusiasm for my life in your letters kept me smiling when Jack got the mumps and that winter when he got pneumonia. I'd be sitting there rocking him as he coughed and coughed and I prayed and prayed that I wouldn't lose him, and then the post man would deliver the mail. I'd get one of your letters and read it until the paper was warn from being in my pocket, or on the bedside table. Every time you said you'd never let go it reminded me of fonder times, and it kept me ticking. So if you're questioning my affection for you, don't ever question it again."

John stood up and went over to where Rose was standing by the sink. He touched her face with his right hand and let it slip down her cheek. He pressed his pink lips onto her own and she responded with a kiss as gentle and sweet as anything he'd ever felt. "I love you Rose, will you be my wife?" He whispered in her ear as they parted from their embrace. "No John, I'm sorry, I can't marry you." Rose whispered back.

John stepped away from her.

"Why?"

"I just can't."

"That, is not an answer"

"I know" Rose sighed and wiped her eyes. "I know it's not"

"Where do we go from here?" John asked his heart plummeting farther into his stomach.

"We stay friends. I fulfill my dreams, you go to war, you come back we go from there. I don't know? What do we do? This was your plan."

"Do we ever marry? Do you see that in our future? I love you Rose, I love you!" John cried showing his emotions. "I've loved you since I met you and you deny me your love because of your dreams?"

"You know that my dreams are so important to me! You know that I ran away from people who told me I couldn't dream what I wanted to. You know, I fell in love with Jack's father and he taught me what I needed to know to live my life to the fullest, don't you think you're going to take that away from me! I'm going to bed now we'll talk about this in the morning." Rose walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs, stopping only to check on her small son, the creation of her dreams.

* * *

_A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter please review chapter eight should be up in about a week. Thanks for reading-Nadine_


	8. Here Comes The Sun

**Chapter eight: Here comes the sun**

Rose stayed awake late into the night thinking about her harsh words to John, she did love him but she was afraid to admit it. She was afraid to let go of the freedom Jack had given her she was afraid that if she did Jack's memory would disappear. Then she thought back to what he had told her "You're going to go on and make lots of babies" He wanted her to move on, he knew he was going to die and in that sentence he had given her the consent to love again. Rose folded her head into her hands and cried, Jack had known what to say then and she knew what he would be saying now.

She heard the door next to her bedroom open, she realized that John was leaving but she couldn't let him she stood up and walked out into the hallway.

"John, please don't go, we need to talk."

"About what?" He looked at her for a moment, and then down towards the carpeted hallway.

"How about in your room I do not want to wake the children."

"Fine by me"

Rose sat on the window seat, and looked outside dawn was beginning to break,

"John, I'm so sorry for what I said. I do love you I need you but I'm afraid. I haven't loved since my husband died but you bring out feelings in me, and I'm frightened…I don't want to lose you, I've lost too much in this life I won't lose you to some war after only being married for a month! I've had that happen before."

"Rose," John sighed "I won't die I wouldn't leave you alone."

"You can't promise that its war John, people die, people get hurt, and people go missing."

"Yes they do, and I could be one of them but you can't live your life afraid that something is just around the corner ready to kill us all you have to live for the moment, because we'll never have this chance again. If I leave today, I will not be back it will break my heart but that's the way it has to be. I can't spend my life waiting for you Rose."

Rose sat for a moment and stared out the window she was thinking about how much she knew about the lack of ability to get time back, she had wished many times that if only she could have that last day with Jack back again how satisfied she would be, but then again it would only leave her wanting more. She knew that time marches on, Jack was already four and she herself was already twenty-one. Life flew by too fast.

"John, I say we'll have a June wedding, in that beautiful stone church on 51st street, just a small wedding with our friends and family and then a reception in the house."

John looked up at her a smile crept over his face; his usual humorous demeanor had returned. "I haven't even asked you to marry me yet."

"Well you're going to aren't you?"

"Yes but in just one second."

John ran out of the room and returned with a small wooden ring box, he got down on one knee.

"I was going to say this earlier, but I guess it fits now." John laughed, he was obviously nervous.

"We've come a long way, when we met we were both poor and heartbroken, and here we go on the trip of a lifetime, Rose the sun is just on the horizon for us and it's starting to come up. Will you marry me?"

"I will marry you John, and love you until the sun goes down on us." Rose laughed and sucked back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

xxx

As the sun soaked in Rose's skin and she listened to the children run around and play everything was fine, her heart was content. Jack ran up to her holding out a pink shell that glistened in the sun. "Mama Look, look look!" Rose took the shell from him. "What is it mama, what is it called?" Jack asked jumping up and down. "It's a sea shell." Rose answered him and gave the shell back to the small child who ran away to torment Anne, who was trying to build a sand castle.

"Aunt Rose! GET JACK AWAY FROM ME HE'S WRECKING MY CASTLE!" Anne screeched as Jack protested.

"DID NOT DID NOT DID NOT!" Jack yelled.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Rose yelled at the kids who had begun to squabble amongst themselves. "We're going in."

Rose took Jack by the hand and Anne by the other and walked them both up to the house. "You two are going to be brother and sister in a month…" Rose said wiping Jack's hands, feet, and taking his swimming shorts off. "And you need to start acting like you love each other." She wrapped Jack up in a towel. "Now, Anne, go upstairs and get yourself cleaned up and when you come down I expect you to be in a better mood."

"Fine!" Anne said and stomped off not before turning around to get the last say in "You treat Jack better anyways why do I want to be here?"

"I do not, he's not off the hook either now get up stairs this instant and do not come down until I tell you!" Rose shook her head, she had heard those words many a time from her own mother and promised herself she would never banish her children to their bedrooms, but she suddenly realized sometimes for her own sanity it was necessary. "Mama I didn't mean to." Jack said while Rose put a shirt over his head and pulled on his shorts "I know she's just sensitive you've got to be sensitive too ok? She's not like the little boy's at the park she's a girl, she's different." Rose hugged her son. "You know I love you Jack."

"I love you too mama."

"Now stay down here and play quietly I'm going to go talk to Anne."

Rose walked up to Anne's bedroom and knocked on the door. "Anne, its Aunt Rose, let me in." Rose didn't wait for the girl to open the door she instead just walked right in and sat down on the bed next to her.

"Anne, we need to talk, you're not in trouble."

"I don't want to talk." Anne said, although it was muffled for her face was shoved down in a pillow.

"I think you do," Rose said standing up and going over to the window. "Why do you keep the shades drawn so tight? There really is nice light in California." Rose drew the shades open.

"Don't do that!" Anne yelled sitting up on the bed. "It's so bright."

"Anne, please we need to talk. I'm going to be your mother soon and you don't even trust me."

"You're not going to be my mother!" Anne hissed back at her the anger in her voice silenced the room for a moment.

"Anne, I understand you do not want me. I'm sure you don't remember your mother but your heart aches for her memory. Jack's daddy died and he isn't bitter about it. I lost my Husband, your dad lost his wife, and we all live out lives to their fullest. Just the other day you were excited in picking out your flower girl dress and now you are sullen. Anne, tell me what will make you happy."

"My mother coming back and you and Jack leaving forever."

"That isn't going to happen." Rose said, asserting herself to the young, stubborn girl.

"Well what is?" Anne asked, as though Rose held the answers to every question in the world.

"I'm going to marry your father and adopt you, your father is going to marry me and adopt Jack." Rose paused for a second "…and over time we'll all learn to love each other. More importantly, you will learn that your mother will be forever in your heart and that sometimes we lose people we care about but they are never truly gone. Maybe you're too young to understand that now but in time, you will."

Anne wiped tears from her eyes, she had been wrong and she knew that, but she was afraid of getting too close to Rose for fear her mother would slip from her heart. She had to resolve things though.

"Aunt Rose, I do understand, I was just mad at you earlier. I'm sorry for saying I wanted you and Jack to go away forever. I want to start calling you mom."

"That'll be fine with me."

Anne Laid her head on Rose's shoulder and whispered; "I love you mom."

xxx

"Jack it's time for bed and you mustn't fuss." Rose said as she drew Jack's curtains and put his pajamas over his small frame. She laid him down under the quilt that was covered in stars. The small boy had a fascination with the moon and stars and any celestial body. She had bought him a picture of the nine planets. The picture hung next to his bed, and every night he would ask about each planet, each one had a story; Venus and Neptune were the mother and father. Usually he would just pass it over never asking questions until this night. "Mommy, where is my daddy? Anne has Uncle John, who do I have?"

"Oh Jack, you're daddy is up with the moon, and the stars he looks down on us and protects us." Rose answered trying to hold back her own tears. "He'd love you so much Jack. So, so much. You look just like him, exactly like him."

"When will I see him?" Jack asked innocence filling his voice.

"When you're much much older, when you're old and gray you'll see your daddy, until then just know he's watching over you smiling at everything you do."

"Old and grey." The boy repeated seemingly satisfied with Rose's answer.

"Yep."

"Tell me more about the planets mama."

"Ok well Jupiter he's big and hot, while Earth now, that's our home Pluto is tiny and far far away, cold too." Rose paused for a moment discovering he had fallen asleep in her arms.

xxx

John's mother put Rose's veil on top of her head, Rose had left her hair down John had always liked it that way, as had Jack. Rose picked up her bouquet of white roses and smiled, this day was giving her so much, a new husband, a daughter. Even if she had always had both of them, she just never really realized it. Rose looked at herself in the mirror, these were her last moments as Rose Dawson, and she was keeping her last name hyphened so that if she ever planned to return to acting she could come back as Rose Dawson legally. John was adopting Jack, but Rose had requested that Jack get to keep Dawson it was the only thing his father had ever truly given him besides his looks, and John understood her reasoning. As Rose picked up her flowers, she realized then that she did not have anyone to walk her down the aisle. Her first and hopefully only wedding and no father to walk her down the long stretch of aisle that would lead her to her new husband.

Rose stood and watched Jack and Anne walk down the aisle hand in hand, the young boy couldn't be trusted to walk by himself and not stop with his curious hands to touch the flowers the hung from every pew. As soon as they made it to the front of the church, the wedding march started up, it was now or never she had to go.

xxx

"We are gathered here today…" The priest's voice faded away as Rose stared into John's bright green eyes; he wore a smile that could light up the night if she needed it to.

"Do you, John Calvert take Rose, to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold until death do you part?"

"I do."

"Do you, Rose Dawson Take John, to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold until death do you part?"

"I do."

Walking out of the Church, the people clapping, all for them, Rose saw a man she thought she'd never see again standing at the back of the church, he ran his hand through his hair and smiled winking at Rose, Jack disappeared into thin air, leaving her heart beating out of her chest.

xxx

Rose stood in front of a vanity, in the palms hotel in Santa Monica. She unhooked the pearls that hung delicately from her neck, as well as the matching earrings. She was still astounded from seeing Jack, she had always been raised to not believe in such nonsense as ghosts and spirits but somehow she had always kept faith in the unknown that it's always lurking around the corner. Rose pulled a silk nightgown over her nude body. Nora had bought her, her trousseau Rose had told her she didn't need to do that but the woman had insisted. So now, Rose was the proud owner of new sheets, undergarments and a hand-stitched tablecloth. Rose walked out of the bathroom and turned off the light where John was laying on the bed.

"Rose, you look amazing." John said in hushed tones.

Rose knew that what happened next was something she had wanted dearly since they were engaged. She hadn't been with a man out of love since Jack. Cal had only raped her taking, forcefully what he wanted and leaving her room to let her pick up the pieces. She was so scared after the first time and hurting so badly she had cried for days afterwards. Cal had always used contraceptive, while against society's rules to have he had to insure his reputation as an upstanding gentleman. So when Jack had made love to Rose, she knew that it didn't have to be violent and for once, she wasn't afraid. When John pulled her nightgown up over her head and laid her down, she knew that she would never have to endure that kind of pain again.

* * *

_a/n:I do apologize for the long wait on this update, I want to thank Underlandsavior for help at this critical turning point. Thanks for reading and please review. I also apologize for those of you that have read this an the extra bit down at the bottom it was from copying and pasting the text one too many times i want to thank LH2005 for letting me know about this problem._


	9. Give Me a Rose

**Chapter Nine: Give Me a Rose**

_**July 12**__**th**__** 1917 **_

John whirled Rose around the dance floor, he would be leaving her tomorrow and he wanted to remember this night, he studied every emotion on her face every smile and every laugh. He wanted to remember her face and every feature on it. He studied her hair the way it was starting to come undone from the up-do she had put it in. He studied the clothing she wore, a pale blue dress that accented her cleavage, it was made of a light material, just cool enough for the California heat. His hand rode nicely in the small of her back and the slow orchestral song that played was enough to make him bring her closer to his chest. He could smell the sweet perfume she wore and he drank it in, oh how he would miss her!

The music stopped and everyone clapped for the band before returning to their seats. The first course would soon begin, and John suddenly realized how hungry he actually was. He ran his fingers over his freshly shaven hair, his usual ringlet curls were gone and the lack of hair was an abnormal feeling for him.

"I still do not understand why they had to cut my hair." He said to Rose, and she laughed.

"It's just another way for them to control you."

"I love my hair though, I thought it was my only endearing quality."

"Your eyes are nice."

"Rose, don't tell me you didn't like my curly hair."

"I liked it, but the army can do what they feel, they're the army."

"I suppose they are."

"John, you have to realize that I fell in love with you for your personality and the way you loved me. Not your hair, it was a good trait but you have to remember it will grow back."

"You're right, I love you so much, what am I going to do without you?"

"You'll make it you're strong. I have faith in you."

"I don't know, many men have cracked under the pressures of war and when they return home to their families they are not the same men as they were before."

"Don't even think that way! You'll return home to me safe and sound." Rose paused and took a sip of the wine she was drinking. It wasn't going down as well as it usually did but she drank anyways, the exertions of dancing had made her thirsty. "John there is something I've been meaning to tell you."

"What is it? You're pregnant?" John laughed at his joke and ate some of the cocktail nuts that were on the table.

"Well yes, how did you know?"

"What?" John paused from throwing another peanut in his mouth.

"John, you were right I am pregnant."

"You are not, you're just joking with me. Right?"

"I wish, but I'm afraid I am not."

"Well, what are we going to do? I'm leaving tomorrow."

"I'll be fine I have many people who are willing to help me, your parents, and I have Molly Brown I can always call her."

"I'll miss the birth of our child."

"I know but as soon as its born I'll get pictures and send them to you. It will be difficult not having you here with me but I'm a survivor and I'm sure that your child is too."

"Have you gone to the doctor yet?"

"No, but I'm two weeks late and I've been sick haven't you noticed?"

"No? I suppose being a doctor I should have but I've been so busy getting ready to leave, the thought that you might be pregnant didn't even cross my mind."

"It's not your fault and I should have told you as soon as I suspected something was amiss, but I just wouldn't let myself believe I was pregnant. Even though I feel exactly as I did when I was expecting Jack."

"I suppose this calls for a celebration." John pulled a piece of paper out of his wallet and quickly scrawled something on it, he motioned for a waiter to come over, and a small bit of conversation was passed between the two of them.

A man at the microphone hushed the room. "I have an announcement to make for the wonderful Calvert couple they are expecting their first baby, and not to prolong the dinner any longer but this dance goes out to them."

The band started in with Bring Me A Rose, a song that had been very popular on the radio that year, Rose smiled and remembered how this was the first song she and John had ever danced to.

"You never cease to amaze me, John." Rose and John owned the dance floor until the rest of the guests found it was right to join them. Rose laid her head on John's shoulder and closed her eyes. She knew what she said was true, she would make it through this pregnancy, and she would have a new baby to show for it. She worried though that she would be proved incorrect about John's ability to make it through the war, he was strong in mind and body she was sure of that but bullets, bombs, and hand grenades are much stronger. Rose shuddered at the thought of losing John she didn't think she could make it without him. He was the only man she had loved since Jack and while she had made it through without Jack by her side and found that she could love again. Rose worried if she would be strong enough to do it all again if the situation presented itself.

She suddenly found herself dispelling the thoughts of dread from her consciousness and focused on the task at hand, enjoying her last hours with the man she loved.

XXX

The house was dark when they arrived home, John's parents had already went to bed. It seemed they failed to realize it was later than one in the morning. After the restaurant had closed they went to the pier and walked it's length several times, resolving problems that had arisen. Such as what to name the baby and they finally decided on a J A tradition for boys and an A E tradition for girls, the specific name was up for Rose to decide. He had told her how if something did happen to him, there was a box of belongings from Anne's mother that he wanted Anne to have. Most of all, he told her to love again. He told her if he died and left her alone with three children to find love again. She hadn't wanted to promise him she would love again, she wasn't sure she could. His pleading had changed her mind, she knew she would have not one but two men angry at her if she didn't follow his promise.

They tried to be quiet as they climbed the stairs to the second floor, John was kissing Rose's neck proving to her exactly what he had in mind.

"John, shhhhh just for a moment." Rose whispered. When they got to the bedroom, John Picked her up and kicked the door shut with his foot. He laid her down on the bed taking specific care not to put any un-needed pressure on her vulnerable womb. She un hooked his belt and un buttoned his pants before he had the chance to pull her dress over her head, leaving her only in a silky slip. He covered her breasts with his hands and kissed her neck, making a deep moan erupt from her throat. Slowly they slipped off the rest of their clothes, dragging out the process for as long as they could, as to torture one another with the anticipation. When their bodies finally connected as one Rose reached back and grabbed the headboard to steady herself, until they moved as one with a defined rhythm.

XXX

The train left at noon, and John was dreading the moment when he had to say goodbye to his family. In the morning he made everyone French toast and bacon, his specialty. While there was an underlying sadness in the room no one said anything about it. What was there to say that hadn't been said already? Rose hadn't been able to eat much, morning sickness was already getting to her.

The ride the to train station was much too short, and the sadness in the air that had been at breakfast was even thicker when everyone got out of the car.

John's mother a French woman named Aimée, spoke to John in French and he nodded along saying a small amount here and there.

"It never ceased to amaze me when she taught that boy French, from then on I knew if they were talking and it was in French it was most likely about me."

"Do you think they're talking about you now?" Rose asked and let a struggling Jack get down from her hip.

"No, I think she's telling him something important about his new journey she always had a great amount of philosophy. I think that's why I fell in love with her even though we had language barrier eventually we overcame it. As she said to me on our wedding day, 'L'amour triomphe de tout'"

"Love conquers all." Rose said and smiled, the small amount of French she did know was enough to translate the simple phrase.

"Yes and love did, it truly did. I believe it did the same thing for you and John. My son couldn't have found a better woman, especially pour avoir des bébés avec."

"To have babies with? He told you?"

"Yes, my son and I have always had a special bond he did all but tell me actually."

"Oh. We're waiting to tell the kids until we know everything is fine."

"It will be."

"How are you so sure?"

"When you have walked this Earth as long as I have, you learn a lot about life and you realize that you have to have faith whether you want to or not."

"It's hard to believe that everything will turn out for the best."

"I know it is." Adam hugged Rose, "No matter how hard it gets you have Aimée and I, we'll always be there for you." Rose hugged him back and thanked him, he was suddenly becoming the dad she had lost.

When the whistle blew, Rose knew it was now or never she had to say goodbye. John Grasped onto her, shielding the tears in his eyes with the sunglasses Rose had bought him. "I'll be seeing you." John said and kissed Rose with fervor, he wanted her to feel him long after he was gone. "I love you." Rose whispered and he kissed both her cheeks before bending down to Jack and Anne, after kissing them both on their foreheads, he walked away and waved to them over his shoulder before hopping on the already moving train.

The train rolled out of sight and still they waved, they all did. Wives and children waved at empty space and at any other point in history, this would have made no sense. Rose felt again, what she had five years before a sense of loss and gain at the same time. Instead of dwelling on her sadness, she asked Aimée and Adam if they would like to get a cup of coffee before their train left at one. Life still went on and even when everything seemed out of place, there was still coffee to drink and trains to catch.


	10. Dreams

**Chapter Ten: Dreams**

_**Friday, July 13**__**th**__**, 1917**_

The house was dark when they entered it, Rose flipped on the hallway light and illuminated the toys that lay on the floor and the wilting flowers in the vase on the table that accented the foyer. She sighed, she had been putting off cleaning since the wedding and things were starting to get disgusting. It was after ten o'clock and the kids were tired Rose held a sleeping Jack over her shoulder and she felt his drool land on her shoulder. "Lovely" She thought and silently wondered if drooling ran in the Dawson family.

She carried Jack up to his bedroom and took his shoes off and slipped him under the covers, pajamas weren't worth waking the beast.

Anne had laid herself down but Rose still went in and kissed her cheeks. She turned out the lights in the hallway, all dreams of cleaning the house slipping out of her mind.

Her bedroom wasn't any better than the rest of the house, the bed had went un made from the night before and her vanity was covered in jewelry and items she had neglected to put away. She slipped off her dress and laid it over a chair, promising herself to clean it up tomorrow. She laid down in her underwear and the sheets felt nice against her skin the events of the day had rendered her exhausted and she fell into a deep sleep.

_The sun shined brightly as she walked along the beach looking at families eating a picnic lunch and an old couple strolling through the sand hand in hand. For a moment she was saddened by the scene and reminded of all she had lost. A young man was drawing something in a portfolio, she sat down next to him and asked him what he was doing._

"_Actually I was drawing you my dear, Rose it's me Jack."_

"_No, you died five years ago if you're here than I must be dead. Jack I was expecting a baby and our son and Anne. If I'm dead they're all alone." Rose buried her head in her hands and cried Jack put his arm around her shoulders._

"_You're not dead Rose, I came to visit you. I've been missing you."_

"_I've been missing you too, if you can visit this way why can't you just come back to life Jack? Why? Is it that hard?"_

"_It is that hard, but we can enjoy the time we have together now can't we?"_

"_Yes, I suppose we can."_

"_How about we go for a walk?" Jack stood up and held his hand out to Rose she took it and he brought it to his lips and kissed the part below her fingers. "Rose, you're doing a great job with little Jack, I was overjoyed when you named him after me."_

"_Really?" _

"_Yes, and when you married John while it hurt a little I'm glad you're living my promise. There were many times I was afraid you were going to give up."_

"_I couldn't I knew you'd be angry with me."_

"_I would have been, I still would if you choose to give up in the future."_

"_Jack, why can't I spend eternity with you? Just leave and we can go to some other realm and raise Jack together. He's missing a great man what with you not being there."_

"_I know, but then Jack would miss all that growing up on Earth has to offer. We can't take that from him." Jack took Rose in his arms and held her there for the longest time, the sun began to go down and he kissed her lips like he had before. "I have to be going now Rose, and don't be afraid I'm always watching over you, and I visit Jack in his dreams ask him about it when he gets older. I love you I never got to say it when I was alive but I love you Rose."_

"_I love you too." _

"_By the way, drooling is a customary trait of being a Dawson, as is being half devil if woken up." Jack laughed and started running toward the horizon the scene faded to black. _

Rose awoke and sat straight up in bed. Her heart was thumping and she tried to remember the dream she had been having. After several minutes of racking her brain with no avail she laid back down and closed her eyes.

_**Summer 1917**_

By August, Rose decided it was best to tell the children about the baby. She had gone to the doctor and he said that everything was progressing properly. With this information she held onto the notion that telling the children was a good idea. Jack wasn't particularly thrilled at the idea of having another sibling, he was accustomed to being the only child and with Anne getting half of the attention he had his knickers in a twist. Rose told him that it would be an incredible journey and that eventually he would have someone else to play with. He seemed to take to the idea after Anne's exuberant reaction to the news. Anne had a way with Jack, she could convince him to do anything. Be it good or bad.

Rose received letters from John nearly every week, mostly he talked about the hard work and the way his sergeant had taken to hating him. She wrote him back, describing in detail the way the children played together and how she missed him. When John was shipped off to Europe in late August, Rose found herself distraught. Many ships had been sunk by U boats in the Atlantic and Rose feared losing John to the ocean. While he was worried about fighting in the trenches, Rose feared the ocean and a ship's vulnerability to it.

John's first letter from a base in France put Rose's mind to ease a bit, but a letter from Philadelphia Pennsylvania did not.

XXX

Rose sat down on the porch swing, it was just her and Jack this day Anne had started school that morning and much to Jack's dismay he wasn't allowed to go just yet. Rose opened the letter, it was from her mother. She hadn't heard from Ruth since the night of the sinking, which to Rose seemed like a lifetime away. A part of her felt like throwing the letter in the ocean and taking Jack to the park like he was currently begging her to do. Another part of her felt like reading what her mother had to say. While Rose felt betrayed by what her mother had done she still needed her. She was only twenty one and that made Ruth only forty eight. She missed her mother and wanted her their for Jack and the new baby, they were her grandchildren of course. She would like Anne as well, the girl could win over anyone she spoke with just by flashing the smile that she had inherited from her father. So as Rose opened the letter and pulled out the heavy paper, she braced herself for what it said.

_Dearest Rose, Thursday, August thirtieth, 1917_

_Rose, our relationship has never been a healthy one. I won't even try to lie and tell you that it is. It had it's score of lies, we never really were running out of money. Of course at the time of Titanic I thought we were poor but your father was an intelligent man and while he ran up large depts. in America his foreign stocks were alive and well. In selling them I made enough money to pay off the depts. here and put away some money for me to live more than comfortably on. I never understood why you were so revolted by Cal and I always believed he was a fine match for you. Looking back on it he was a horrible man for you and the world in general. I noticed the bruises your arms always had and I realized he was taking advantage of you. I should have broken off the engagement when I found out he was hurting you, but I was a different woman back then. I hope that you'll still have it in your heart to love me. I've changed so much since you left. I realized that family isn't indispensable. I love you Rose and I hope that you'll accept my offer to come out and visit. I won't come if you don't want me too. I would like to see the life you have made for yourself._

_Love, your mother. _

Rose closed her eyes, she wanted to believe that her mother had changed. She wanted to love her and forgive her for the things she had done. She tried to believe that Jack would still be alive if it wasn't for her mother's foolish decisions, but then again she wouldn't have met him if her mother hadn't forced her into taking that trip to Europe with Cal and then again forcing her to get on Titanic.

Rose told Jack that she had to write a letter and then they would take a trip to the park. She fuddled around with the right words to put on the paper.

_Dear Mother, Tuesday September fourth 1917_

_I would love to see you but there are a few things you need to know about my life. I have a son named Jack, he's four years old he'll be five on January 12__th__. He is Jack's child, if you didn't realize this Jack sr. died in the sinking. I have raised Jack mostly by myself since he was born. Please accept him into your heart. He has been described as a maze of wonderment. I would like to agree with that. I got married in June to John Calvert he's my best friend and while we don't share the love that Jack and I did, he makes me happy. John is fighting for our country in France right now, and if I lose him I have no idea how I'll go on. He has a daughter named Anne, she is seven. I adopted her after the wedding and she has actually been my daughter since she was two years old. I'll explain all of that when you get here. I cannot wait to show you my life. I forgive you for what you have done. I do not want my son or daughter exposed to fake people. We are raising them to be wholesome people who love all of man kind. I hope that you have turned into the grandmother that can help teach them the proper rules to living a successful life. I love you._

_Love, Rose. _

Rose gathered Jack from where he was playing and took off for the post office and then to the park.

XXX

A week later Rose received a letter from her mother that said she would be in Santa Monica on the twenty second. Rose looked around at the disarray that had become her home, she had only tidied up but never officially scrubbed it the way it needed to be scrubbed. She sat the letter on the table and began to clean, her mother was coming and she wanted everything to look perfect.

* * *

_a/n: this was sort of a transition chapter, I hope you guys liked it. please review. thank you_


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